Booked, printed, and photographed against the height chart. The charge: aggravated watering. The evidence: one watering can, recovered at the scene. The suspect shows no remorse — just the quiet resignation of someone who's done this before and will absolutely do it again.
A shirt for the repeat offender whose plant care has officially crossed into criminal territory. You have the right to remain silent. Your houseplants did not survive long enough to testify.
Wear it when: another plant goes down and you feel, deep in your soul, that you'd be convicted.
— Premium ringspun cotton (Bella+Canvas 3001). Printed to order. True to size.
