Houseplants are supposed to purify the air, lower your stress, bring a little life indoors. Yours do none of that. What they do is expire quietly, and then you come through with a dustpan. You've stopped calling it gardening. It's more of a cleanup operation now.
A shirt for the plant parent whose main horticultural skill is tidying up the remains. They give oxygen. You give them a dignified sweep into the bin.
Wear it when: you're once again brushing dead leaves off the windowsill, wondering why you keep signing up for this.
— Premium ringspun cotton (Bella+Canvas 3001). Printed to order. True to size.
